What a year...phew

So I am writing this as I procrastinate. I should be writing the introduction to my thesis, but at least I am writing something. Maybe it will help get my creative juices flowing and inspire me to stay up tonight and work on it.

So this past year has been a whirlwind. There are two sides to every coin so the first side will be my personal life and the other will be my science side.

1st side:
~dad passed away
~finished upstairs remodel project
~had a kid 1 month later...22 hrs of natural labor w/ 3 hrs of pushing (and would not have changed having a midwife for anything)
~being a new mommy with the anti-sleeping eat every two hours around the clock monster
~bad post pardum depression
~gain of 25lbs after C was born....depressing
~time flying like crazy
~Ollie getting hit by a car
~new puppy added a month ago
~C is almost a year old
~she is walking now and saying words
~my baby is gone...so sad but so much more fun to come in the toddler years
~wish I could go back and appreciate C when she was a baby and not just try to survive
~excited to she what type of person C will grow up to be
~love being a mommy to C!

2nd side:
~I am so behind on my graduate degree that it is embarrassing
~the past year has been a bust for getting stuff done
~I fell like I should have finished months ago and should have taken my prelims by now
~all I want to do is finish but part of me is stuck in not seeming to find the time to work on anything
~need to work on stuff rather than procrastinate (like I am doing now)
~really tired of the protein Rab9 but appreciate its function
~I MISS being in the lab, but know my long days and nights there are gone; sadness
~how I feel every day: Will I ever finish?!?

My two sides of the coin are in constant turmoil. Perpetual flipping all day, every day. I just cannot seem to have a good grasp on being there 100% for C and being a researcher. I know someday I will, but it is a current struggle. I do not know which side of the coin will win in the end. Maybe the coin never has to land but can keep flipping....